Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
