If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I could fuck to npr.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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