glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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