i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
