Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
