Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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