She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
