My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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