Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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