we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I intend to get homeless drunk
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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