Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I intend to get homeless drunk
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
