I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
