What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
