You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
