marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
