Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
