Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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