with your own penis?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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