Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize