just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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