yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize