now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
