loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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