Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
