guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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