The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
