next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
