"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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