Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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