yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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