Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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