You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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