i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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