He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
