Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
