Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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