I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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