Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
