I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Bring me that man meat
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
