I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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