i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
