maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
