i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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