How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
