i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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