Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
