but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
