I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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