Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
