Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
