yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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