he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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