I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
