hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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