Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
