I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
