To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
