so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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