I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
