Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
