Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize