Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
