it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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