I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Randomize
