you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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